It takes a lot of inner strength and risk to ask or want something for yourself knowing that it may hurt the feelings of others, even though that is not your intention. A catch twenty two. This portrait is about confronting your wants and dealing with apprehension. Let me make this clear that I am no authority on Sikhism and its practices and everything that I mention in this post is from my own opinion and trying to understand the struggles and experiences of another person. I am not speaking on behalf of Rooby, who is in the portrait, or voice his own opinions. I am simply trying to understand and convey what it might have meant to cut his hair after keeping it uncut since birth. The moment leading up to having a haircut wasn’t just about having a haircut. The act of cutting one’s hair is extremely symbolic, personal and conflicting. Rooby had been thinking about cutting his hair for some time leading up to the act, but to broach this subject with his parents was no small task. The pressure he must have felt would have been immense. He grew up in a family where following the Sikh tradition was extremely important to their way of life. To now suddenly speak to his parents about cutting his hair would have been difficult on him and also his parents. This decision would have affected people close to him and their feelings would have been hurt by him breaking from tradition.
Larger questions of faith and what that means to him also had a part to play. Rooby obviously thought about this in relation to his own life and what it means to be a Sikh. I think this is a really important point to mention because questions of faith and God are important. Coming from an Indian background you naturally inherit a lot of beliefs that are taught and/or imposed onto you. Growing up you are told to do certain things and behave in certain ways (during religious ceremonies, for example) and these things have a reason even if they are unbeknown to us. However, in my own personal experience I have noticed that when I or my brother would ask the purpose or meaning behind something that we didn’t understand, which related to religion or God, we would usually be silenced by being told not to ask too many questions, to follow what was happening or that they didn’t have an answer because they didn’t know themselves. (This didn’t apply to every single event that took place, only certain situations. My parents would usually know what we were doing and why we were doing during certain religious ceremonies and the meanings behind them.)
Customs and traditions were done the way they were done and that was that. We didn’t need to question it. The problem with this kind of thinking is that they, our elders, expected us to follow and be subservient to what was happening. But we, as children, wanted to understand why we do certain things in our culture to develop an understanding and reasoning behind it. After all, if it made sense it wasn’t a problem, but if it didn’t make any sense to us or at least to me, then suspicion and opposition towards doing something I didn’t understand made it harder to accept. This is not to say that there is no reason or logic behind certain ceremonies or cultural practices. Back in our day we were just told to be quiet and not question anything. Nowadays, people are more discerning, which is a good thing. Old people are not always right and young people are not always naive. That was a big thing for me growing up as well. Listening to an older person because they were older and not to question their judgement didn’t always sit well with me, especially if I perceived something they said or did was wrong. The point that I’m trying to make is that there are clear differences between generations and how we think and to how we approach the ideology of God and what that means for us. Some people move away from notions of God and others are attracted towards it. Either way, it is our individual choice to make and that’s the point. Individual choice. To find out for ourselves and to create meaning from our experiences. What have our experiences shown us to develop an understanding of something so abstract as God or divinity? It’s not about right or wrong, its about developing oneself and learning from life.
In regards to the construction of the painting I wanted the viewer to be drawn to three key points within the painting. Rooby’s contemplative gaze into the distance, the Kara (steel bracelet) that Rooby is holding and the picture of Guru Gobind Singh on the table. These three things suggest what the portrait is leaning towards. The ambiance of the room compliment Rooby's posture as he is shown in deep thought. Also, the play of light onto the hands and the icon on the table being illuminated by the sunlight indicate that these objects have a certain significance in conveying the meaning behind the painting. I made the opposing sides of the picture contrast in light to hold the figure within the frame and give him a subtle presence. I had the direction of the table facing the sitter to draw the viewers eye towards him, but I made the picture of Guru Gobind Singh face the viewer, so that we can see what is presented on the table. For those of you who don’t know Guru Gobind Singh established the Khalsa Path to show devotees that having a common identity through “The Five K’s” will bind them together and make their devotion for their guru grow stronger. The Five K’s are what distinguish a Sikh from his or her contemporaries i.e. Kesh (uncut hair), wearing a Kara (steel bracelet), Kanga (a wooden comb to keep the hair neat and tidy), Kachha (a certain type of underwear) and a Kirpan (a knife or sword kept in a sheath under or over clothing). I didn’t want to present all the Five K’s within the portrait as I wanted room for interpretation of what could be conveyed through the symbolic meaning of the objects presented.
Nearing the end of the portrait it reminded me of two famous artworks of women standing by a window that I would like to share with you. The first was of a photograph by Tom Hunter called “Woman Reading Possession Order” and the second was a painting by Johannes Vermeer called “Girl Reading a Letter by an Open Window”. The former was inspired by that latter and both convey the lives of everyday people. Hunter used a large format camera to create his photograph and Vermeer apparently used a camera obscure to create his many painted compositions. They are both deeply engaging and tell stories of people. Interestingly, Tom Hunter is one of the very few living artists that was exhibited at the the National Gallery, in London, but even more astonishingly was that he was the first photographer to have his work on display at the world renowned gallery. Vermeer, of course, is a master painter know around the world for his portraiture work, more specifically, “The Milkmaid” and “Girl with a Pearl Earring”. You can read more about the artists and their work in the links below.
Tom Hunter - Woman Reading Possession Order (1997)
Johannes Vermeer - Girl Reading a Letter by an Open Window (1657-1659)
Links:
Tom Hunter- Under the Influence - Episode 4 of 5
https://www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/b00zt7ky
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Girl_Reading_a_Letter_at_an_Open_Window
https://www.saatchigallery.com/artists/tom_hunter_articles.htm
https://www.britannica.com/biography/Johannes-Vermeer/Legacy
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